Was weird a few days ago.  Finished a chunk of the project I’ve been writing and instead of the usual elation and then day off I take to relax, recharge, and slightly celebrate, I felt almost nothing.  The day after it was even more pronounced.  Instead of rejoicing over a completion of a seemingly gaping void in my story by playing Diablo 2 or WoW (or more recently Bioshock), I just sat there, playing the game of choice blankly.  It took me a good three days to get out of whatever the hell that phase was, and all I can say in reasoning for it was the weather was murky at best during that time as well.  I don’t know.

It wasn’t writer’s block.  I get pissed off when nothing flows, but I still run head first into the wall and eventually break through it given enough time and the right environment.  This was just…emotionless funk.  I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t even apathetic.  Just there.  I was simply existing, and had no anything.  It finally lifted when I made a new Barby on D2 and started killing things.  Just thought it was odd.

In other news, my dog smells very good.  I went upstairs and it was staring outside so I sat near it and pulled the drapes back a bit so it could see out of it, as it likes to do.  And from this close proximity I noticed he smelled good.  Like perfume or something.  Going to have to ask around and see what the heck I missed this morning when I was sleeping.

Beat the game awhile ago, never went to the site until yesterday.  Turns out you can download the music in the game, which is really cool as I’ve been a fan of the viking version of the Bard Song.  So, I head there and the front page pretty much displays the amount of humor in the game.  Wave your mouse over someone and they animate and talk to you.  Do it several times and they say new things, which was unexpected.

Just one thing I’d like to mention…wave your mouse over the barmaid’s face…then a little lower and watch your mouse.  Do it a few times and what what happens to the website.  You’ll know it when you see it.

http://www.thebardstale.com/index.html

Since American Idol there seems to be a spot on every judging table for “The Asshat” and while I’ve become accustomed to it, I have never been a fan of it.  There is a big difference from “The Wise, Veteran Judge” that speaks his mind to “The Complete Dick” who just spouts off hate because they have absolutely nothing to look forward to when they get home.  Just because you have a snappy line to throw out to the camera and completely destroy some one’s self-esteem does not make you a better person, that makes you quite a sad representation of the human race. 

You are being paid to mouth off for some reason, and these people had to call in sick at best to audition or partake in this show’s recording and you belittle them to the enjoyment of the anonymous viewers at home.  I can’t even watch some shows because I can see the train wreck coming from a mile away and I change the channel quickly with a cringe on my face.  The only time I enjoy watching the now traditional Jackass Judge twist the knife is when a contestant comes up with a massive ego and gets a swift kick to the ass and shoved out the door kicking and screaming.  The first contestant voted off of True Beauty this season was a great example of enjoying the loud person get booted off quickly.

Case in point in reguards to judges this evening:  “Chopped.”  Seen the show a bit, decent time waster until Alton comes on, but today it really pissed me the hell off.  The premise of the show is that it starts with four chefs and based on how they cook one gets “chopped” every round.  The kicker is, like how Iron Chef should have been from the beginning, the contestants have no idea what they are cooking until the timer starts and they have to think on their feet on what they cook, truly coming down to skill and training…minus some luck and Judge’s tastes.

At the final round on today’s show, rerun or otherwise, the two contestants did their thang’ and presented to the Judges.  One guy had no idea what to do, and just completely winged it, all the while talking to himself due to stress.  When he was talking to the Judges they gave him pretty nice compliments which completely surprised him.  When they were done and his time was over he thanked them for saying the nice things as he expected it to be terrible.  And that’s when the Jackass Judge capitalized on the moment and clawed her way into the camera’s gaze and let loose one of the most bitchy lines I have ever heard.

“Don’t you think it’s a little early to be thanking us?” 

No hint of a joke.  No smile.  (Must have been a heavy flow day) The only thing she had was a disgusted look on her face that all the movies show Cheerleaders giving to the ’stupid’ nerd that asks them out.

How much of a raging BITCH can you possibly be? 

Honestly. 

He was going out of his way thanking YOU for complimenting his meal in astonishment.  If you weren’t such a douche you could have seen that.  How arrogant do you have to be, to be the Jackass Judge?  Do they pump you up with hubris-laced steroids so you can rage out on queue?

To quote the great Stewie of Family Guy:

“She needs to get laid, big time.”

The guy ended up winning in the end anyway, which made me feel bad for the other contestant more than feel smug towards The Jackass.  The second guy probably thought he was going to win because of that chick, and now the rug got pulled out from under him.  Way to mess up BOTH people with that comment.

Bah.  I shouldn’t let people like that get to me.

Listen to…the awesome.

When you hear it, you just know somewhere out there the Companion Cube is running free… [sniff sniff]  Well…maybe not exactly running, more like standing there motionless…but she’ll be standing there, happy and free…and potentially covered in char and ash.   Just brings a tear to the eye.

Writing is creating and solving a puzzle of your own creation, with an unspecified amount of pieces that change every day, and you never really know what it’s a picture of, until you complete it.

Just a random thought I had, staring at my screen a second ago.

When I first heard some of these cover versions I had a gut reaction of dislike.  It could have been from being accustomed to the originals, or something else.  Only way to know for sure is to let time pass a bit, which I did.  What do I feel about this album, after letting myself stew on it for awhile?

First off, Sparklehorse’s (ugh) ‘rendition’ of Jack’s Obsession is still the worst noise I have ever heard in my life.

Secondly, all the instrumentals still rock.  The vocals?  Ah, that’s where the rub lies.  My playlist of songs on this album does NOT include:

2.  Opening- intro by Elfman.  Not really a song anyway, but mostly took it out because it slowed down the flow of songs.

 7.  Town Meeting Song-  This one is terrible.  The original version is 2:56 long.  This version is 8:55.  WTF.  How anyone could think a good revamp of an original is to triple it’s length is beyond me.  By the time they even start to sing it’s already been a minute and eighteen seconds.  That’s almost half the originals total length!  It’s so ungodly slow, I feel like Jack: “And as hard as I try, I can’t seem to describe, like a most improbable dream.”  Luckily I’m not singing it the way it is in this version, or that simple remark would have taken me sixteen soul-numbing seconds.  This one heartily earned it’s ‘Shall never be played again’  status.

 9.  Jack’s Obsession – This…this thing…this (for lack of a better word) ‘version’ is so terribly bad it could have meme’s attached to it for years.  Ytmnd.com, prank calls, gag gifts, annoying cell-phone-songs-as-messages, vanilla torture.  You name it, this unholy audio clip can do it.  In fact, this could very easily be the evolution of Rick Rolls.  Imagine the surprise of clicking on a youtube video only to be pelted with this steaming pile.  You were doing fine and dandy wasting time at work then *BAM!* 

Speakers crit you for Your Sanity! 

Next thing you know, your face is permanently stretched out like victims in The Ring.  Fortunately, I don’t even think a deaf person could stomach making a “Spark Roll”, knowing the chaos and agony it would cause on the masses.

16.  Poor Jack- It didn’t jive with me.  The vocals aren’t exactly emo, they aren’t exactly whiny…but, I just don’t like ‘em.  A throaty monotone does not a song make.  Elfman had emotion, great music, the whole package.  This one just seems…lacking?

19.  Closing- Again it kills the flow…and I prefer Picard’s version ^_^

Originally This is Halloween, Jack’s Lament, and What’s This? were also on that list, but have sense forged their way onto my playlist.  Reasons being:

This is Halloween is just a rehash of his version from years ago.  Not that it’s bad, it’s quite good, but it’s the same.  How is this “Revisiting” if it’s just a copy/paste?  Lost points for repeated use, but still a good song so it passed.

What’s This? almost didn’t make it due to the ever-increasing ‘idea’ of stretching out a song longer than it has to be done.  All the new versions I like on this CD are either the same speed or faster than their original, this being the only slower one I still listen to.  The only reason I still play to this one is that I really like her voice and style, I  just wish it was sung at a more brisk pace.

Jack’s Lament was originally in the same boat as Poor Jack, but it grew on me.  I was on the fence with this song for awhile as I like the band, but hearing their version I thought they could have done more with it.  I’m not sure if I have warmed up to the song, or simply got used to it.  Either way it’s on my playlist and I think it’s a good addition.

To summarise all the negative changes on this album I disliked:

• Slowing down these classics does not make you a revolutionary.  It makes for a bad song.
• Monotone is not the desired placement for your voice when singing emotional (happy, sad, etc) songs.
• When making a song your own, try pushing the envelope a little, while avoiding the two previous ‘ideas’.

All in all, great CD with more good surprises than bad.  I likey.

I don’t know why I find writing about writing so fascinating. To me, the writer, my perspective is different than you, the reader, this I understand. But for some reason, just seeing what I’ve researched today for a few hours trying to write makes me seem like I’m poking my head behind the scenes and taking note of clues that might affect…something. Even though there is no curtain to peek behind as I’m just looking at what I typed today. Maybe typing as different characters is making be skitzo. Hee hee hee. Anyway, here’s ten things I looked up today on wikipedia.

1. A-10 Thunderbolt II
2. Ancient Rome
3. Chain Gun
4. Drinking Straw
5. Formaldehyde
6. Gatling Gun
7. Plastic
8. Rome
9. Straw
10. Vulcanization

Still looking up things to finish up my project, both to further explore and to make sure I’m not accidentally ripping off other ideas.  (There’s already a guy that pretends to be a bat that fights crime?!  No wai!)  My searches lead me to the classic bad guy, Venom.  I’m not the comic genius, admittedly, so thankfully I got the Cliff’s Notes version from wikipedia, as usual.  Everything was typical super dramatic storyline and ’shockers’ here and there, until I read down to minor hosts the symbiote joined with:

Angelo Fortunato

Angelo was the youngest son of Don Fortunato, a prominent Mafia capo of New York’s criminal underworld. Due to his frail physique and shy attitude, Angelo was frequently bullied and humiliated by his father. Tiring of his son’s weakness, the Don brings Angelo to a supervillain auction, where he purchases the Venom symbiote from Eddie Brockfor $100 million. Eddie warns of the dangers inherent in the symbiote to which the boy answers that he had nothing to lose in a life of non-stop ridicule.

Like Spider-Man, Angelo becomes the only other Venom host not to have a protruding tongue. Once bonded with the symbiote, Angelo learns the secret identity of Spider-Man, and plans to destroy him to prove himself worthy to his father. Angelo attacks Peter Parker during a high school reunion, injuring many bystanders in the process. They engage in a ferocious battle which brings them out into the streets of New York. Learning how to use the symbiote’s mimetic abilities faster than anticipated Angelo takes the advantage in the fight. However, when Angelo kills an innocent civilian he mistakes for Spider-Man, the superhero stops holding back and beats Angelo into submission.

In defeat Angelo’s old cowardly ways show through and he flees while the symbiote berates him for his cowardice. Irritated by the boy’s lack of resolve, the symbiote ruthlessly abandons Angelo in mid-leap, letting him fall to his death. Ironically, Angelo’s name translates from Italian into “Fortunate Angel”.

Venom quotage

Epic maneuver, Venom.  Epic maneuver.

I’m trying to wrap up the ending to my current project and the human thought-process being what it is, ended up having me look up Trigun on google as I was looking up info on one of the Gung Ho Guns, and one of the pages I stumbled on was this one right here, and I can say that after scanning the page for the text I was looking for, finding it, and then mentally ‘clicking’ that the page is bright red I literally yelled “OW!” and just had to post about it.  I still see green ’shadows’ on the screen as I type this, sheesh.

I was going to type something up eventually but this just…wow.  Very few things surprise me, but this cover CD certainly has for all the wrong reasons.

I don’t have the time to cut the garbage into manageable amounts, so I’ll just post a link to the worst thing I have ever heard in my life and call it a day:

In case you are at work so you can’t access it, or simply can’t take the pressure of having one of your favorite cult classics destroyed; it sounds like a female version of Tiny Tim singing “Jack’s Obsession” in the style of William Shatner, and constantly out of breath.

Not all the artists were terrible though.   Amy Lee, Marilyn Manson, Korn, Rise Against, and several of the instrumentals were pretty nice.  But others induce a sort of hearing gag-reflex, almost akin to how your brain says “hot” when your finger gets too close to an open flame.  When your ears get too close to the lack-luster tracks your brain says “bad.”