Funk? Apathy? Weather Induced Mini-Depression?

Was weird a few days ago.  Finished a chunk of the project I’ve been writing and instead of the usual elation and then day off I take to relax, recharge, and slightly celebrate, I felt almost nothing.  The day after it was even more pronounced.  Instead of rejoicing over a completion of a seemingly gaping void in my story by playing Diablo 2 or WoW (or more recently Bioshock), I just sat there, playing the game of choice blankly.  It took me a good three days to get out of whatever the hell that phase was, and all I can say in reasoning for it was the weather was murky at best during that time as well.  I don’t know.

It wasn’t writer’s block.  I get pissed off when nothing flows, but I still run head first into the wall and eventually break through it given enough time and the right environment.  This was just…emotionless funk.  I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t even apathetic.  Just there.  I was simply existing, and had no anything.  It finally lifted when I made a new Barby on D2 and started killing things.  Just thought it was odd.

In other news, my dog smells very good.  I went upstairs and it was staring outside so I sat near it and pulled the drapes back a bit so it could see out of it, as it likes to do.  And from this close proximity I noticed he smelled good.  Like perfume or something.  Going to have to ask around and see what the heck I missed this morning when I was sleeping.

A Somber Christmas

While I inexcusably glance at what I’m told is the news, I see average Joe’s fighting to get loans and survive credit and background checks, only to watch ‘our’ government throw money away to hog-ish companies that will give their echelon raises before the overall economy will ever see a cent, and I just shake my head when when no one seems to know where the money exactly went to.  Anyone else reminded of that scene in Armageddon when Bruce Willis is talking to Billy Bob about drilling on an asteroid?  Sounds more believable than what’s happening right now anyway.

Harry Stamper: What’s your contingency plan?
Truman: Contingency plan?
Harry Stamper: Your backup plan. You gotta have some kind of backup plan, right?
Truman: No, we don’t have a back up plan. This is it.
Harry Stamper: And this is the best that you c – that the-the government, the *U.S. government* can come up with? I mean, you-you’re NASA for cryin’ out loud, you put a man on the moon, you’re geniuses! You-you’re the guys that think this —- up! I’m sure you got a team of men sitting around somewhere right now just thinking —- up and somebody backing them up! You’re telling me you don’t have a backup plan, that these eight boy scouts right here, that is the world’s hope, that’s what you’re telling me?
Truman: Yeah.

Thank-you again, imdb.com.

So…millions of people need loans, go through the motions to try and get approved  and if they are very lucky (almost to the point of not even NEEDING the loan in the first place) they might get it for some thousands of dollars…but several companies that claim to have failed so terribly solely due to greed, are given BILLIONS of dollars and we don’t even know what they spent it on.  Well, other than bonuses to stock holders in order “to get them to do the jobs for which they are well paid in the first place.”  To break this down simply, these companies were paid billions of dollars to pay their high ranking officials on top of their usual millions, if not billions already…and when asked where the money actually goes they refuse to tell the public.  “The public”, ie their sole source of income outside of the most recent Wallstreet Welfare drama.

So, as I turn the ‘news’ off in disgust, I look around my messy area, (still have to finish a few Christmas gifts by-the-by) and think: 

I’m fortunate enough to have time to make gifts for my friends and family in place of spending a lot this year.  What about the people that don’t have time OR money?  I feel bad enough at the amount of gifts I bought this year is down compared to last year, and I know to some that might sound snooty but the gifts I’m giving are far from top of the line.  Dollar stores and Goodwill made up the bulk of gifts this year, and I’m making the rest of them by hand.  I know it’s rough out there currently, but even with that in mind I almost feel guilty that I didn’t get more for the people I care about. 

And then you have companies saying they suddenly need an extra fifty billion and in exchange for that sum, promise to only use one of their twenty private jets. 

 And then someone actually gives it to them.

Christmas, She’s-a Here!

Well, looks like snow’s-a comin’.  It hasn’t started to fall yet, but it’s due any time now.  Skilling took a little jab at other weather persons and said “If you were expecting the snow to mess up rush hour on your way home today, you didn’t watch our program because this snow is moving right along schedule.”  You tell em Tommy, friggin’ weekend weather men ain’t got the cahones to tell it like it is, you tell em Tom!

Then he showed the map of what’s expected, and he paused it during the morning rush hour and said “And this here is…well this is just a mess” with such a straight face and professionalism that it made me laugh just typing about it.  But that’s enough about The Weatherman for one night.

After hearing his predictions for the night I, for some reason thought about decorating outside with lights.  Be it the fresh snow to get me in the Christmas season, or lack of fresh air getting to my brain due to all this central heating as it’s some 10 degrees outside, I was on a mission.  So I sent my Dad outside to get the lights.  (It’s cold out there!)

So now I sit and wait.  Can’t do the lights yet as I got a plan for them that involves the supposed foot of snow we are expecting here.  Hopefully it’s not the wet and heavy snow, but just snow, then ice after it falls as that would be excellent for what I have in mind.  Just gotta wait a few more hours for it to be about half done falling…

As for crafts, I made my girl friend’s friend and ex-boss a shrinky dink key chain.  Thought of and completed it in under two hours.  I did plan on making him something, especially after his fiancee’ got all druggy emo on my girl friend a few days ago.  (“I’m not addicted to drugs!  I just smoke pot!”  Well if that isn’t sound logic…)  Start out as a shrinky dink key chain but the hole I made ended up being a smidgin too small and my girl friend ended up breaking it while trying to take it off the chain itself.  So I turned it into a coin.

As for the rest of the crafts…eh.  Time is running low, methinks some gifts will be belated.  I finished the main gift I had planned for awhile now for my little lady, but I had another planned that might have to wait for her birthday in February.  I feel like I could have done so much more for people this year, bah.  Probably need to do one final round of gifts before wrapping time.  If I can afford it anyway.

My House Is A Freaking Sty

I decided that I was making gifts this year awhile ago, and only recently have I actually started on them.  Very quickly this tidy place has turned into just…ugh.  It’s not the ‘crazy cat lady on Animal Police’ level of dirty, as everything under these random messes *is* clean and doesn’t have dead animals stashed like trophies to some unknown idol in the corner of the room, but it certainly is an eye sore that’s almost enough to motivate me to organize the place.  I’m spending the day finishing as many projects as I can to finally quarantine my work area.  It started by the couch, then my computer desk…then the infection spread…